you don't know what you've got 'till you lose it.

I think it's time you learn that lesson instead of me.
I'm just tired of trying to even try.

under-achiever,

I've always felt like I'm the under-achiever,
that I'm the one who isn't smart at all,
that I'm the one who won't get a bright future,
that I'm the one who's looked down upon.

I'm always the one with the lowest grades,
I'm always the one with the lowest achievements,
I'm even the one with the worst appearance.

Now tell me,
am I under-achieving,
or am I just caring too much?

Is it wrong to care too much?

Dilemma,

I don't want you to leave. I like us as like that.

I can't imagine life without you there for me.

I'm scared of the future, I'm scared of what might happen.

This path... it's full of uncertainties.

But what am I to do?

I can't stop you from advancing either.

I just need to be strong, and be the best I can.

being different

Sometimes, I wonder what if it's really a sin to be different.

Just because I don't wear high-waisted bottoms or crop tops or leopard prints or the latest summer trends of midi and maxi flowy skirts.
Just because I'm not a size 2 or put on make-up at the age of 17.
Just because I've never had a proper relationship for 17 years.
That doesn't give you the right to judge me.

I like what I wear:
- A shirt/blouse
- Low-rise bottoms
- Shoes/Flats

I like that I'm chubby. (well, I'm starting to eat healthy now though)

So what?
Does liking all those make me any less of a girl or any less of a normal girl? No.

what even

i get angry looking at you.

这些年，

这些年，我们经验过的，我们学到的错误。
但是为什么还是不断的反复这些错误，每一次再相信下一个会更好，下一个是不一样的。
然后再度受伤，这次比上一次痛，比上一次流更多的泪水，的血。

因为我们想相信，不管痛过的有多痛，多伤心，还想相信会有一个能让你开心。
如果这样下去的话，我们会找到幸福吗？
最终，经验过的痛会是值得的吗？
不断地相信，这样做是对的吗？

人生。
复杂。
相信。
简单。
跌倒。
起来。

给自己，给别人，一个机会去帮你。

I'm tired of being first,

I'm tired of being the one who's initiated. I don't expect you be as initiative as me but can you at least TRY to be initiated. It's tiring. Really.

And I can't even begin to explain why I'm tired.
You should try then maybe you'll understand.

I'm not just someone who will stay still and do nothing.
If you really treasure our relationship, do something.
Don't let it rot.
I am giving you the chance - seize it.