beach bod

I hate looking at photos of beaches.
Don't get me wrong, I love the beach! I mean, who doesn't?
It's a great place to chill, lying on the white sand (or grey, if you're referring to a Singapore beach) and staring at the aqua, blue-greenish clear cool water (or blue, dark blue, a little dark and opaque, if you're referring to Singapore's beach); it's a great place to unwind after a hectic week or just lie down next to a loved one and bask in each other's presence; it's a great place to play, have a picnic and feel the sea breeze.
Yet, somehow, when all of these images appear in my head, all I think about is girls and guys with the best beach bods.

Bikini/beach bods are a sign of either 1) you're anorexic/bulimic or 2) hardworking and determined.

Disclaimer: bikini/beach bods are not those overly skinny, skin and bones bodies. I'm referring to those that are slim, toned and muscular at the same time if you get what I mean.

It's crazy how I look at them and then look at myself. Telling myself that I need to work harder.

But I don't, that's the problem. I can't bring myself to stop eating chocolates or sweets or meat.

I can't bring myself to run, swim and do cardio.

Yet, every year, I promise that I will work towards that goal. To no avail.

Right now, I'm sitting here, cuddled in blankets and just, lazing around. Being fat.

Many see this bikini bod as a materialistic want but no, it's not. It is attractive because it shows that you're a person with willpower; it is attractive because it shows that you work hard; it is attractive because, well, it makes you different from all those lazy girls.

I want a bikini bod because I want to gain self-confidence, I want  to feel better about myself; because I want to be able to go to a beautiful beach and parade around in a bikini confidently without being afraid that I'm just scarring everyone I walk past; because I want to wear every type of outfit out there and look absolutely stunning in them because of my petite figure.

I will try, and I must try.
I've had this goal for 3 years already, when will I finally set my heart and mind to accomplish it?

Any time, this year?

12 midnight exams

Exams are in less than a week.

Last night,

we decided to risk it all.

fat cheeks.

disgusted face.

what the hell were we thinking?

stereotypes.

.....

scrunchy faces.

i don't even...

hair play!

more hair play!

i am haunting you.

we are all wanna-bes!

wanna wanna wanna be.

typical day.

miao jing: the best hairstylist

because I can be cute too :D

double bomb.

pig.

attempt to wink....

more pig.

glamorous (?) smile..

we are turning crazy.

more, crazy.

final attempt to wink.

I am genuinely worried about my exams.

LOL.

with reason............

blogging

I think I have a lot of thoughts, but I'm just too lazy to jot them down.
They come and go.
Some stay.
But they disappear while I poop.

So while it's still fresh, here's what I want to say:

If we stop comparing, we'd be happier people.

If we stop comparing ourselves to people with better grades, better looks or better financial statuses, we'll be contented with what we have because why do we need so much for?
We only need enough to survive.

North Korea:
They've got no access to the outside world. They don't know what's it like out of their own country. But guess what? They're contented because they can survive. There's food (albeit not abundant) on the table, there's water to bathe in, there's a roof to keep them safe.

We all have these basic necessities but why are we still so unhappy with our life?

"They've got lower taxes"
"She's got a better nose than I do"
"I'm not getting an A"

Why don't we just live with what we have and be happy about it?

Answer's simple.
Nothing's ever enough.

You can never get the best grade.
Neither can you get the best looks.
Even more impossible, you can never earn the most.

That's why we're not happy.
We want such a perfect life that is impossible to attain.
We're so unhappy with where we are at when we are already so much more fortunate that we can survive each day and see the next day's sunrise.

That itself,
should be life's greatest treasure.

Yes,
I am unhappy with my life.
But I was happier than I was yesterday and I will be happier tomorrow than I am today.

After I graduate, I'm going to live my life.
I'm going to live the life.
And I won't stop, even for a second, to mourn or envy others because I know, that there's more than just comparing yourself with someone who seems 'better'.

There's no one 'better' than you. You are you and you can't just rank a person because we are all different, we want different things, we feel differently.

After all,
the person that you see up there, might not be the happiest person alive.
You are.
If you let yourself be.

one week

so concludes my september break.
NJRC.
NJRC.
NJRC.

I managed to catch up on reply 1997 and watch Running Man + WGM.
I think it's been quite fruitful.
Exams in 4 weeks.

what?

njrc

am finally getting the rest i deserve.

or need.

here is another spastiChong face.

love,

jean.